Hi all! Thank you again for the encouraging messages,
prayers and support. Another week done…2.5 more to go! Despite small hiccups
here and there, we really are enjoying ourselves on our “radiation vacation.”
My sister reminded me that people are specifically praying that this be a
stress-free time and I thank you because your prayers are being answered! Kyle
is feeling well. He is having small headaches here and there, but we are just
going to continue to rebuke the pain and trust in God’s healing power!
Lately God has been pressing on me to open up and share about
the struggles I have been having this past year. It was very difficult for me to make this blog and be open and honest
about what’s been happening in our lives. And here’s the reason…..It’s because
of people’s words. It’s what people speak over us…to us…and about us.
So, those of you who know me, know that I am a chatterbox! I
am the type that doesn’t stop talking even when I’m sleeping…the type that talks
on the phone to friends and family for hours…the type whose report cards always
said, “if Lindsay would apply the same effort and concentration on her studies
as she does with socializing with class members, her grades would definitely
improve.” I love to talk and I am an open person. Very open. I can picture my
close friends and family giggling or nodding their heads in agreement over this
statement!
But… I have become very private about all that has been
happening since January. This is not like me. When we were given the news this
year that the tumor cells had come back again, I begged my family to not share
with anyone yet. I started keeping things from people I was close to. I hid
information from family; like when Kyle had his next MRI, doctor’s appointments,
or how he was really feeling. I did
NOT want to talk about it because the truth was, I couldn’t handle talking
about it 24/7 and I could NOT handle all the things people would say to me.
Kyle and I both feel very strongly that we do not want this
thing dictating our life. We don’t want to focus on it. We don’t want to give the
devil any satisfaction and don’t want him stealing our joy. We have a beautiful
little family that we love and care for and want to give them a happy, full
childhood. And when people are asking about it all the time in front of them or
saying things that they think are
encouraging, but really aren’t, it can really destroy us. And so, in some ways
we tried to keep this part of our journey a secret. It was nice going to church
to just worship and fellowship with other believers. It was great to go to
family reunions and not be discussing Kyle’s health the whole time. It was a real blessing to not have people
constantly asking us when the next MRI was. Because how could we feel joy,
focus on Jesus and live a “normal” life when we were constantly being reminded of
this ugly tumour? You may think, oh
that’s silly. It can’t affect you that
much..but let me share an example. This summer, Kyle and I got to play baseball
together. If anyone knows us, you know how much we LOVE baseball! So it was a
real joy to play together and we looked forward to the game each week. One game
in particular I could tell Kyle just was not into it…which was weird. He was so
excited to play and then all of a sudden I could just see sadness written all
over his face. At first I was kind of scared, because I thought maybe he wasn’t
feeling well, but when I asked him, he said that someone was asking him right
before the game about the brain tumour and the radiation treatments he would
need. It was not said in a negative way, but the reminder of it stole his joy
right out of him and he couldn’t even play baseball. I can’t describe how it
hurt to see him hurting.
Now, please trust me when I say this…we know how much
everyone cares about us and loves us. We know most people’s intentions are
good. We know people say things and ask things because they care. We have been
so supported through prayer, people praying over us, people loving on us and our kids, and bending
over backwards to help us over this year…and that is why I felt SO compelled to
THANK YOU all and keep you up to date. But, I just ask you to consider from our
perspective what it is like living through this.
Like I mentioned above, I am a chatterbox. I don’t think being
a chatterbox is necessarily a negative thing, but what I’ve learned over these
past few years is how POWERFUL words can be. Words have power…more than any of
us really realize. Words can be uplifting, but can also be so damaging. How
good do you feel when someone compliments you? And how terrible do you feel
when someone speaks something negative to you. And this is a real struggle I
have. I know I have hurt people with my words. Whether it be a careless thing
I’ve said to someone or things I’ve said behind their back. It is something I
am constantly battling. I think this is probably something a lot of people
struggle with, because it is mentioned SO many times in the bible. Just google
scripture verses that talk about the power of our words and you will get
hundreds of bible verses warning us and teaching us about the power of our
words.
These are just a few:
Proverbs 18:21- Death and life are in the power of the
tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Ephesians 4:29- Let no corrupting talk come out of your
mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it
may give grace to those who hear.
Proverbs 12:18- There is one whose rash words are like sword
thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Colossians 3:8- But now you must put them all away: anger,
wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth
James 1:26- If anyone thinks he is religious and does not
bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
We were introduced to this biblical principle a few years
ago. We had never truly realized the impact our words have. God spoke the world into existence, so we
know how words hold SO much power! We
strive to speak life, health and blessings over us, others and our family
because the bible calls us to do this. And if we continue to speak negativity,
death, or slanderous words it can be an inroad the enemy uses to get into our
lives and put lies in our head. Every
night Kyle speaks life, health and blessings over our children for today,
tomorrow and in the future. Last night Kyle spoke over Cohen that he will bring
a lot of people to heaven through Christ. Cohens’ reply was, in all seriousness,
“ya dad, I’m going to tell like…. 51 people about Jesus.” Haha oh how I love
kids!
I hope this post encourages you. I pray that it helps you
understand why we’ve been cautious in sharing, but also helps you to reflect on
how the words you speak can really affect someone. We also hope that by updating
you all, you won’t have to ask us what’s new with Kyle, because you will
already all know!
Things to consider:
-We want spiritual fighters in our corner!! Not pity! People
who encourage us in this fight and do spiritual battle alongside us!
- I know it is easy to say “hey, if you need anything let me
know or give me a call.” But please know that it is difficult to ask people to
do things when you are struggling with something. Offering to help cut the
grass, bringing meals, offering up babysitting services are just a few, out of
many ways, people have blessed us over the year and we thank you for that!
-We understand that people are curious about what we are
dealing with and what the future looks like for Kyle, but please understand
that Kyle and I and even family members, do not want to be talking and thinking
about it 24/7. We get asked daily, “How’s Kyle’s health?” “What’s the
prognosis?” “When do you begin treatment?” etc.
Please understand that we think about it enough and when we are enjoying
a wedding, family reunion, a baseball game etc. we sometimes just want to
forget about it, have fun and enjoy life!
-We understand that in situations like this, you don’t
always know what to say…and that is OKAY!! It is okay to just be honest and
say, “I don’t really know what to say, but please know we are praying for you.”
Or even better, write a well thought-out message/encouraging note, or just let
the person know you are thinking about them and praying for them! It can be SO
uplifting!!
-Please know that we do not harbour any ill feelings towards
anyone who has spoken negative things over us and to us. We forgive and forget,
because we too fall short.
-And finally; We were truly overwhelmed with the responses
to this blog and the prayers of so many of you! The power of your words put
smiles on our faces, uplifted us, and gave us strength knowing that there is a
huge army of believers backing us up…ready to do spiritual battle alongside us
against the devil and this evil thing! Know that we give God so much praise for
all of you!
We encourage you to reflect on the verse from Proverbs
18:21- Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it
will eat its fruits. Bless someone today with your uplifting words!
Blessings and love,
The DeKonings
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